Too high expectations

Ugh....I shouldn't have expected any mail today. Ofcourse I did!!! Im sad, angry and Idk what else I feel. And I got these stupid , sad , thoughts going around in my head. Abt how he just stop writing me or just ignoring me totally!!!! Oh gosh!!!!....  I just wanna push on  a button in my head and make it all go away!!!!!I wish I could stop missing him so much too.

Now i know what to do tmrw. I wont look aftert the mailman and if he puts anything in my mailbox. Im just gonna not care. Yeah....Not care. Im angry with him but I miss him at the same time.
Stop screwing with my head Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!! thankful theres cigarettes to puff on.