Been a tough week

 

Worked a full 8 hour today. My feet are so sore. Plus my mom forgot her small backpack with her phone in the woods. She didnt realise it til it was 9 pm and gone 5 hours til then..☹️.So we went into the woods, with my phone , cus of the flashlight, looking for it...Kinda thought about Blair Wicht Project...Kinda spooky yet exciting. But boy my feet was even more tired cus of that....We found the phone. I kept calling it. We heard it ring.. Im just waiting for My Smokey to come, I havent seen him for 2 days. He might have been inside but I been sleeping. Soooo I have no idea. Just a bit worried I guess. 

Ps. Smokey got home. 🥰❤️

I havent gotten any letters , except for the small short one with the pics in it...I think he has forgotten about me or just dont want to communicate??😔☹️🙁 I dont know..Hope God is taking care of him..But I think im gonna send some fun Halloween pics anyways. Since so many got sent back.... Btw I got a pumpkin that im gonna carve out tomorrow!!! YAYY🎃

I just feel a bit sad , Not sure why. Maybe I feel better tomorrow. MEHH😑😑

I was supposed to post this yesterday. I forgot 🙄😏

Am I just too weird or complicated for this world??

Just today has been a sucky day... Im just feeling so depressed and alone. Tried to talk to my mom about some of it...She just dont understand....Why did I try again??? Still no letter from my guy; You dont have to pretend loving me you know?? Maybe its better if you dont.  Some days I just want to just lay in my bed , have noone bothering me...does my mom let me do that. NO....

I dont know my head is just all over the place...I think im having my Pmdd. Feels like it.... 

 

I had the video visit On Tuesday

 

It wasnt as I thought it would be though...He was wearing a mask all the time...And glassed. Was really hard to know if he was smiling or not. 🤔😕The screen was kinda blurry...UGH. I think I made a fool outta myself. 😳😔Or so I thought I did??? Maybe Im just self councious , Now the tdcj has moved the visitation to a website. BUT they want you to put in your address....There are no other countries to choose from except for Usa, Canada or Mexico??? How am I supposed to set up another visit now??? Just irritating!!!!!!! 🙄😠🤬

Maybe Im just overreacting over the visit. But Cant deny it. He said he had sent me 2 letters...Yeah?? Well where are they??? 😒🤨🤔

I cant stop over analyzing the video chat...Stupid hormones aswell my Pmdd is bad right now. Feeling so low, depressed, sad, suicidal..Dont wanna talk to anyone...I feel so alone. 😭😭😭😭

...I have an appointment tomorrow again. Maybe Monday will be the day I will get the eggs removed..👀😤😤

hormones ugh

 

I was just really frustrated yesterday, I am waiting for my period to arrive...Irritating...I am going to donate eggs again aswell...I found another egg donor place. LOL What you do for extra $$$$. I just miss 

him so much too. 😭😭😭Fuck so much. I dont even know if he cares anymore😭. He is busy to take time for me.SUCKS!! I dont ask for much. I havent gotten a letter in so many weeks....Its just blah.... I guess thats how it is when you are thousands of miles away and in prison too... Yepp..... and hormonal too , oh gosh just makes it even worse 🤬😭😢🙄