Thirsty Thursday

Today went well. Was cleaning at a house.  They had a cat. Male cat. So handsome. Could be Lillys Boyfriend. Just joking. Well I still got that cough but It should be gone soon. 

I think my man is on lockdown. Could be why he hasnt called... Bummer 😢Hopefully I will get a letter soon. I gotta take some pics for him too. I promised. I havent done it yet. He loves getting pics from me LOL I would be happy too to get photos.

Didnt see that coming

I got a call today , it was from a company I been applying to, They seemed intrested. I told them I got another one too. I said I want to come for an interview anyways. What I have now is not enough of hours. Im still intrested as heck. I didnt say heck but you get the idea.He will call and schedule an interview. I do hope so. I so wanna get my debts out of my way. Theyre bothering me so much. I want to start saving for another trip. For next year. So this day was sure a Blessing. God did hear my prayers last night.

BUT Ive been waiting like a fool for a call from My man  this week...I dont know If he will be calling. I should stop having my eyes glued on if that phone calls or not.👀 I just miss him so damn much. 😟 I got work tomorrow. I will be working on my own. I hope it goes well

Some days are harder than others

One of days are today. Sigh. Stick it out. 😟😔Your mind is in a dark place. You just feel alone and like you are a failure. And its just too hard today. Double sigh

hurts in my chest

I dont know where it came from. Maybe I got cold. Soar throat. Burning in my chest. Cough...  inside ear is swollen BUT Im still gonna work. Today is my first day. I just pop a pill and im reeeaaddyy to start. I hope it passes soon.  I am soo gonna buy a popsicle. Icecold , feels so good to your throat. 😋

Happy 30th Birthday My Love

😘😘😘 Wish I could spent it with you. I miss you so much. 

Happy Thanksgiving

Take a step back and inhale

Sigh

About yesterday hehe

About yesterdays blog entry I was in a super bad mood but I still agree what I wrote. Even If I love half of my family. Sometimes they just tick me off. Happen to all I guess? I am gonna try to not get the toxicness into my life. Esp the older siblings. They are just gone to me. 👋

So exhausted today. I was so close not to go to work. The only 3 hours I work. Well til next week. I think I will be starting next week. I really hope so!!! Getting so restless being home. All I do is think about food , or eating or cleaning up my own place wich gets boring too. SIGH! but food is pretty awesome right?? and delicious.  Okay I better stop or else I will get hungry again.

Im done with your toxicness

My mom just called...Unload all of her problems, worriness...I just cant deal with it. She never listens to me It seems. I talk but does she hear me? Nope. I think im invisible. Like my problems dont matter. I try to help her financially and do I even get a thank you. NOPE!! 

And my brother, drunk msg me on Fb. And the next day...IT DIDNT HAPPEN. Kept me up 5 hours of his rambling. Im done with that !!!! The other 2 older siblings; I dont care abt you. You dont exist. I dont it seems. 

Feeling overwhelmed & Restless

Egg donor

 I had an appointment at the reproduction Center at the Hospital. I will donate eggs. Well if my egg sacks are okay to go. I will be an egg donor in 6 months. 😆😃 (Hopefully) I really do hope so. I got alot of eggs to give. Would love to make a couple happy to become parents. And ofcourse its pretty sweet getting paid too. hehehe😏

Caturday has been awesome

Love this picture LMAO its hilarious and cute 

So its been a rainy day but Its been a pretty good day. Watched a funny movie on TV: with Eddie Murphy and Steve Martin called Bowfinger. I recomend it for sure. Its a comedy.

I also got a call well 2 calls from My man. What a NICE suprise. I had sent him a little money so he could put on the phone. 💓😍😘 I didnt know how fast he would be able to. His Birthday is coming up to. On the 26th he will be 30!!! 

Dont stop trying I tell myself

Its so nice Friday is here. Even if I dont work everyday I sure do like Fridays. Who doesnt??
Work went well. I actually worked out before work. I kinda slipped into some bad eating at 6 in the morning. But hopefully since I been active I burned some off. 😏I just feel so darn guilty whenever that happen. I know its not the end of the world. I just feel like "I can just skip the whole diet since I slipped" or I tell myself You are gonna be punished!!! Its not good to punish yourself. It will happen that you slip now and then. As long as you forgive yourself and continue its all good. 👀💖

Job interview today

Got a job interview today at a cleaning company. They are looking for a person who can clean houses. I can certinaly do that!! I got some experiance...I hope it goes well. 👍😆Havent been on a interview in a looong time. I might be a little rusty.

Gonna try to shed the pounds

I know , I know I said it a thousand times it seems. I really mean it. I will lose weight til Christmas.  I wont put on too much unrealistic goals but I hope around 4-5 pounds. I am alsoo gonna be chips free for 30 days. I know that is alot the reason I gained weight. I snack at night. Its not too long til 2018.
I wanna FEEL and LOOK good. 👀👍

Missing you so much Today But soon we will be able to talk

For all the women riding it out with their man. Some good quotes

PURRRFECT Day???

Well well well, Friday and weekend we meet again. I got work today. Just one place. I forgot take some gloves from the dentist..I usually do it on Thursdays...Hmm. Im gonna try to find a pair of plastic gloves or I have to buy a package. hehe. Its an invesment right? for the future?? 👀

The Guilt of hurting someone you love

Im still thinking about how I hurted him. I should have just told him from the beginning...Just feel so damn guilty. I shouldnt had tried to cover it up Just plain stupid!!!!!  Lying is worse than telling the truth . Just feel like a bad person, A bad fiance , a bad wife. Feel so guilty. I guess this is the worse thing I done. Hopefully the guilt will become less....  I learned my lesson. I cant save people. Only they can. THE END.

I quit that hellish place

I got another complain today from that place I clean...After the phonecall I was just thinking...No I cant do this anymore. So i told my job I dont want to continue there but I will stay at the place I got on Fridays. What a relief!! 😄A heavy burden off my shoulders. I will start looking for another job. I think I will get more motivation now. When the work has weighed me down alot. BYE BYE Hellsmile.  SO CELEBRATION TODAY; For a new beginning. 🎉😍👍 I talked to my man about it and he is supporting me 100 % abt it. He called today and he thinks the lockdown is near. Bummer... 😣 I sure will miss him alot, hearing his cute laugh.

You heard my Prayer Lord

Im going through alot. The nighttime is hell. I twist and turn trying to fall asleep. My sleep is not good at the moment. I got so much anxiety and worriness. But I got this loan from a bank , I think that will help me get through next month... Im gonna give a thanks to God. I prayed and prayed about it. He heard me. I got a appointment to the nurse today to check up on my health. (Cus of my depression) Im gonna just tell the way it is...Thats the truth. Hopefully I will get something to get through the nights, Get some sleep. Im so exhausted..... 

I am bored

I dont know what to do, I am terribly bored. Been watching a movie today and might watch another tonight..I actually made a movie list LOL I found 14 movies so far I havent seen. There is probably more I havent seen. Theres a few left to watch. 

When you are tired of fighting

Rainy Wednesday /Thursday

Its been a long day I woke up at 3 am. Just feeling worried and feeling this lump in stomach.
but around 5 Pm yesterday My man called. I guess he is not on lockdown yet. When I got home we talked some more. He tried to cheer me up. Ive been just down abt work complaining on me and just feel completely stuck...

Right now i just feel like im gonna have an anxiety attack.... UGH!!!!😣😖